How to Cope When a Family Member Has Cancer
8 Ways To Cope When Someone You Love Gets Diagnosed With Cancer
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When one of your loved ones receives a cancer diagnosis, it'south a life irresolute and terrifying ordeal to go through. After my mom was diagnosed, we were thrust into a new world with lots of confusing terminology, grim survivor rates and an uncertain hereafter. It was a scary diagnosis, but it's not always a fatal 1 every bit many, including myself, jump to assume.
Many people who receive a cancer diagnosis but live with it every bit a part of their daily lives. They undergo treatment or they are in remission — and I've even met patients who were still going to piece of work with a stage four diagnosis due to ongoing palliative care and symptom direction. A diagnosis is not the end, it'southward simply the first of a new reality. The new reality involves lots of diagnostic tests, waiting rooms, medications and many, many appointments. It can exist a lot for one person to handle, which is why it'southward important for you to exist there for your loved one.
According to the World Cancer Research Fund in that location were an estimated 14.1 million cancer cases diagnosed effectually the globe in 2012, and that number is expected to increase to 24 million by 2035. That means a lot more people and their loved ones will exist going through this unfortunate experience.
I spoke to a health psychologist and a nurse oncology navigator to gather some tips on how you tin can best cope when someone close to you receives a cancer diagnosis. After going through the experience myself, I believe that these tips will help you stay grounded, and be confident in supporting your loved 1 through their new healthcare journey.
Remain calm
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Remaining calm is important for y'all and your loved one to stay good for you and in control. There volition be many emotional moments during this journeying that can overwhelm you both. Y'all will go through a range of emotions, similar to the stages of grief — denial, acrimony, bargaining, depression and ultimately acceptance. Those are just your feelings, so can you imagine what your loved one is feeling during this fourth dimension? It's important to confront information technology together and support your loved 1.
"It is important for at least one person to be calm, in order to make a plan, coordinate wellness intendance problems, and scout for mental health concerns as cancer patients oft develop low or brain fog," says Dr. Gretchen Kubacky, Wellness Psychologist. A cancer diagnosis is a heavy one, and it tin can weigh down your general mood and outlook — only it's vital to stay positive.
Focus on facts, not fear
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Stay optimistic, and don't focus on other stats, other people's outcomes or what the internet says. Every person is different, every cancer is different and every diagnosis is different, then in that location's no point in getting worked up over other outcomes.
"When a loved one is diagnosed with cancer, their globe suddenly stops. They unremarkably merely hear the discussion 'cancer' and their mind leaves the room and focus is gone," says Rose Wolfe, Oncology Nurse Navigator at St. Joseph Medical Middle, Cancer Found. Sometimes it's hard for a loved ane to focus on the facts when they are overwhelmed. Information technology'south helpful to have someone with them to help understand the diagnosis, retain facts and enquire questions they possibly didn't think of.
Accompany your loved one to doctors' appointments
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This is one of the most important things you tin do with your loved i. They will likely be overwhelmed with a lot of information and emotions. Having someone by their side is comforting and will give you both a meliorate understanding of what they will be facing in terms of upcoming tests and treatments.
"Patients are often bombarded with information and choices. Doctors may talk quickly, exist rushed, or provide incomplete data in an effort to go along on schedule." explains Dr. Kubacky. "It's your job to listen, take notes, ask pertinent questions, organize paperwork, and assist the patient stay as calm as possible." Wolfe agrees that as a support person, a family unit member tin be their ears and eyes during a consultation. Sometimes information technology volition be your job to advocate, besides — if your loved one has concerns, wants more answers or even a 2d opinion, this is where you lot tin can help be their vocalization and step up for them.
Ask questions and stay informed
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Knowledge is power, but it can also be a weakness if you let the facts overwhelm or scare you. Staying informed is really important, but make sure you lot are researching from reliable sources. Stick to relying on your wellness intendance professionals for answers to whatsoever of your questions. Allowing patients to inquire the "what if" questions allows them to focus on healing.
Wolfe suggests, "Sometimes we are agape of the 'what if' questions, but in one case they are addressed, patients feel more confident in a plan." Being able to verbalize your concerns allows you lot to go the smaller elephants out of the room. Fifty-fifty though you absorb all the information you lot can it doesn't mean you will be able to change anything or make any dissimilar decisions. It's truly best to not bound to any conclusions no thing what the state of affairs. Wolfe advises to "take information technology i step at a time, try to remain grounded in the present and not leap to the future."
Mind and support your loved one
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Your loved i has a lot running through their mind as they get through their cancer journeying — equally do y'all. Talking to each other about your concerns and fears is difficult, only important. "As with any relationship, listening to concerns, validating them, and then offer support is the best way to exhibit your love." says Dr. Kubacky.
Most patients just want to be asked how they are, even though we know they are struggling through health issues. Brand sure they know you lot are there to talk anytime they need. Some people find it hard to reach out, so reach out to them to come across how they are if you lot oasis't heard from them in awhile.
Support the decisions they brand
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What'south correct for you isn't necessarily what's right for your loved one. When it comes to making decisions — about anything — feel free to express your thoughts, but exist mindful that it's their selection, and likely a hard one as it is. "It is of import for family members to honor their loved ane's wishes and ask how they can support them — try not to tell them what to practise," Wolfe told me.
"Family unit members can tend to treat patients with 'kid gloves' and become overly protective. This can actually be very frustrating for patients." she says. Most patients want to live their lives the same equally they already were pre-diagnosis, and most often they can. "Information technology is skilful to allow the patient to remain in control, make their own decisions, and remain independent."
Ask how you can back up them
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For most people asking for help doesn't come easy, Dr. Kubacky told me "Many people are uncomfortable asking for assist, or they are overwhelmed with the magnitude of the diagnosis." Making specific offers like driving them to appointments, picking upwardly groceries or taking over big chores are small-scale gestures that tin can really accept a load off their shoulders. Sometimes a person might not fifty-fifty know they needed the help until y'all offered it.
Typically most patients practise not want to be viewed as a burden and it truly helps them retain a sense of normalcy throughout their journey by being able to take care of themselves. "Family unit members can contemplate their own fears and become support, only information technology is also important for them to accept care of themselves." says Wolfe.
Encourage cocky-treat your loved one and yourself
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Dealing with a cancer diagnosis is stressful and draining for everyone involved. It shakes up your entire world and forces you to face up some scary realities. That's why self-care is more critical than ever for you and your loved i. "Meditation, yoga, residual, relief caregivers, good healthy nutrient and water — it all matters." says Dr. Kubacky. Engaging in healthy behaviors and a positive mindset will help you lot find the energy support your loved one every bit they fight the adept fight confronting this disease.
Wolfe agrees, "Trying to maintain balance in listen, body and spirit is very important for all." Taking care of yourself will allow you to stand potent for your loved one and will give them the strength and inspiration they need for their journey. Don't be agape to ask for assist when you lot need it and encourage them to do the same, we are stronger together.
Extra tip: encourage prevention
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This is one of the almost important things that yous tin do to prevent cancer. Other than eating well, you should be exercising and abstaining from unhealthy habits like tobacco, alcohol and excessive sun exposure — it is the all-time thing you can do for yourself and your loved ones. Information technology'south recommended that after the age of 50 men and women should go screened every 2 years for chest or colorectal cancer. Encourage your loved ones to get screened regularly because almost cancers tin exist caught and treated early on. The best way to fight cancer is to get ahead of information technology!
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Source: https://www.thelist.com/44592/ways-cope-someone-love-gets-diagnosed-cancer/
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